John Hamdrunktord V-Neck Tee – 1776ish Whiskey Patriot Shirt | Vintage Funny American History Tee, Founding Fathers Parody, Sick Bastards Style USA Shirt
Enter: 1776-ish. The powdered wigs are itchy. The bell is cracked. And John Hamdrunktord — revolutionary legend, freedom enthusiast, and all-around sick bastard — is three sheets to the wind.
Right as he's about to sign the sacred Bill of Rites, our hero spills 1776-proof whiskey all over the parchment, his vest, and his dignity. Undeterred, he slurs out a toast to “L’BBERTY… HIC… and REGREBBABLE DISH-CISIONS!” while an eagle facepalms and the rest of the founding fathers regret showing up. Spoiler: he never signs the damn thing.
This vintage-style graphic tee celebrates the true American spirit — chaotic, confident, and absolutely hammered. Perfect for July 4th ragers, tailgate philosophers, barroom historians, or anyone who’s ever made a regrettable dish-cision of their own.
Product features:
Premium Unisex V-Neck Tee – liberty for your collarbones
100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton – soft enough for a nap in Congress
Side seams hold their shape even after you don’t
Ribbed V-neck that doesn’t quit (unlike John mid-speech)
Tagless tear-away label – because you’re already dealing with enough irritation
High-resolution vintage print featuring John Hamdrunktord, the most gloriously unqualified founding father
Care instructions:
Machine wash cold (like Hamdrunktord’s chances of re-election)
Use non-chlorine bleach only if you didn’t spill whiskey on it first
Tumble dry low like your standards on a long weekend
